Monthly cycle

            It was the winter after I had started my organic pet toy business on Etsy that I got an text message from my friend Leela. She was finally leaving Rob, her boyfriend of three years, the violent one. He didn’t beat her or anything, at least as far as I could tell, but she was always showing up with scratches on her arms and legs, or even her face. And, sometimes, she would have these regular arcs of reddened depressions in the skin, almost like bite marks that hadn’t quite drawn blood. Now, lest you think that these were natural injuries caused by working in her rose garden or rough housing with her pet pooch, let me explain that Leela had neither a rose garden nor a dog and, although she is a veritable accident prone klutz, these particular injuries didn’t show up until after she started dating Rob. I never blamed him for her many bruises and broken nails, or even black eyes. She had had them for years and I knew they came from her constantly slamming her hands in doors and tripping over her own feet. But the scratches were new and, as time went on, I noted that no fresh ones ever appeared when Rob was out of town.
              But, when I had met him, he hardly seemed like the kind of guy to do such things, either in anger or in passion. He was a polite and mild mannered individual, not timid or effeminate, but very laid back and self-assured. I never liked him. I can't exactly explain why but it had something to do with the fact that nothing ever seemed to bother him. Never at a loss for words, he always had an answer for everything. But he wasn't arrogant either. Although they are annoying, with arrogant people you have the reassurance of knowing that at least some part of their behavior is bravado to cover their insecurities. But Rob didn't seem to have any insecurities. It was almost like he wasn't human or something.
              Leela’s self-esteem was as unsteady as her footing so it must have taken a huge amount of will power for her to call it quits with him and I was ready to offer my full support. I arrived at her dingy loft apartment on the south side with a bottle of wine and some extra packages of tissues. I also brought a copy of Beauty and the Beast because it was her favorite movie. Although I had always scoffed at what I saw as Belle’s misplaced attraction to a text book example of egotistical machismo, Leela seemed to understand perfectly. She said she had always wanted a man who was humane yet had raw animal magnetism. I would have been hard put to uses either of these ideas to describe Rob but, apparently, Leela wasn’t.
              As usual, her apartment was a mess. All the blinds were tightly drawn (at least it was nearly sunset) and her coffee table was littered with magazines, everything from Vogue and Homes and Gardens to Willy’s Rifle Room and Tarantula Fancier. Leela had a passion for magazines and always believed everything she read in them. Tonight, in addition to the normal half dead plants and small fat ceramic chickens that always littered her home, she had two huge bags of VHS tapes piled on the floor in front of her. Leela was pretty much the only person I knew who still had any VHS tapes, except my Aunt, let alone that many of them. But, perhaps, she would not have them for much longer. As she waited for me to take off my shoes in the door way, she handed me a pair of scissors and I saw that some of the tapes had already been broken open and gutted. A small pile of shredded innards had been started, just off the round, braided rug.
              “Here, have some cookies.” She held out a plate of freshly baked cookies of the oatmeal raisin variety. This was absurd. I was supposed to be offering her comfort food, not the other way around. “Help me cut up these tapes,” she said, sitting down and smashing the plastic case of another one with the handle of her scissors.
              “Why? What’s on them?” I asked dubiously, picking a tape out of one of the bags and starting to pull the film out of it.
              “That’s not important. Just stuff I want to forget.” She picked up a cookie and took a big bite out of it. “Did you remember to lock the door when you came in?” she asked, her mouth full.
              “Uh, no. This is your house so I wouldn’t….”
              “Could you please go do it now and make sure you put the dead bolt and the chain on it as well.”
              “And I should take the end table and wedge it in front of the door too?” I asked sarcastically.
              “Yes, you should. That’s actually a good idea. Thanks for suggesting it.”
              “Leela, what are you afraid of?” After carrying out her ridiculous instructions, I sat back down and continued cutting up tapes.
               She looked at me sideways. “It’s always better to be safe,” she mumbled, stuffing the rest of her cookie into her mouth.
               “I really hope you’re not worried about Rob. I don’t think he’s dumb enough to break down your door and he’s certainly not strong enough to do it if he wanted try.”
               That sidelong look again. “Humor me,” was all she said.
               “Look, I brought you a surprise.” I pulled out the video and she clapped her hands in delight. “So, why’d you leave him?” I asked, as I popped it into the DVD player. Thank god she had one of those, even if it was buried under her huge dinosaur of a VCR.
              “I just couldn’t take the drama any more, the mood swings.”
               “What do you mean?”
              “You know how bad it is dealing with your friends’ periods every month? Well, this is worse.”
              “Are you saying Rob gets PSM?”
              “After a fashion.” I was about to question her further but remembered having seen something about male hormonal cycles…in a magazine no less. Even if I didn’t credit it, Leela surely would. We cut up tapes without speaking to each other for a while. Leela joined in with Belle’s opening song, and even though I normally thought singing along was cheesy, I was touched by the way she was putting a bold face on this situation and couldn’t help following suit. All went well until we got to the part where Belle’s father is lost in the forest. Then, all at once, she became very agitated and asked if we could stop watching. Figuring this was another situation where she wanted to be “humored” I obligingly switched off the TV. But, privately, I wondered why. I had expected some upset over the love scenes but not over an old man getting chased by wild animals.
               But Leela was always rather odd. She didn't cry or express bitterness over her breakup. She didn't even seem to care to talk about it much. The only sign this was different from any other night was a sense of quiet sadness that hovered in the back of everything she did. I frequently wondered what I was doing there, other than just hanging out with a friend. She didn't seem to need any help. Yea, I know I said Leela thought poorly of herself, but that doesn't mean she's constantly bemoaning her fate. Rather, it helped foster an almost fatalistic acceptance of whatever came her way. She had no trouble living with the consequences of decisions. It was only making the decisions that was hard for her. Still, it all seemed far too easy. Never having seen her react to a crisis before, I just couldn't accept that Leela, who would dither and agonize over what dressing to order on her salad or what color of shirt to wear, could be taking the breakup so well. Therefore, I watched her carefully in the weeks that followed. She never seemed any worse but seemed no better either. The sadness was still there underneath everything and she was exceptionally reluctant to be sociable. She wasn't avoiding me but politely and quietly refused to go out in public more than necessary.
              “Really, wouldn't you rather go out to a bar or at least a restaurant?” I said at the end of the third week, trying to sound encouraging, rather than irritated. “Something, instead of sitting around watching cooking shows on TV.”
              “I'll go out to eat if you really want to, but only if you promise not to make me flirt with the waiter.” She had observed me use that technique on our friend Morgana after her last breakup. Even though that sort of had been my idea, I promised, just to get her out of the house. We went to Ruby Tuesday at the mall and, afterwards, wandered through the halls looking at the stores.
              “Let's go to the fur store,” I said eagerly, “since Morgana's not here.” She's not a member of PITA but only because she feels they're not hard line enough. Leela and I don't actually think selling furs is okay but we still think the coats are beautiful and elegant, so we go to the store to look at them and try them on, imagining what it would be like if they weren't made from defenseless furry creatures and it was okay for us to buy them. Leela agreed, which made me even more happy I had suggested it as it was very good to see her express interest in something.
              “Oh, isn't this beautiful,” I cried, picking up a floor length gray-white coat, the color of snow in twilight, and wrapped it around myself. It was soft as new fallen snow as well and I could bury my hands in it, just like in a snow drift.
               “It's wonderful,” Leela agreed in a hushed voice. She reached out a stroked it hesitantly.
               “It's so soft.” I whispered. She nodded dumbly and continued to run her hands over the coat slowly, again and again. The pale fur slid through her fingers like water, over and over and, as it did so, the deep sad look crept into her eyes more strongly than ever. It actually looked like she might cry. “What are you so sad about?” I let the coat slide off my shoulders.
              She shook herself as if waking from a dream. “It was probably made from poor little chinchillas,” she said quietly. “Morgana's right. We shouldn't be here.” At her words, I felt the sadness and guilt well up in me as I put a comforting arm around her and walked her out of the store, sorry that I had brought her there. I soon became even more sorry because, although the next time I saw her, Leela didn't seem as sad, she did seem more nervous, guarded even. She looked at me sidelong, as if afraid of what I might see and she seemed to be getting difficult to reach as well, at least her phone was busy a lot.
               But, since she seemed to be on the mend, I thought it might be time to encourage some more socializing. “Will you go to Zoraya's with me?” I asked her one night. That's our downtown bar. It calls itself a dance club but that only means they have loud music and a small space cleared out in the middle of the room, so not really. Anyway, they have good drinks and I know for a fact that Leela enjoys their tropical martinis. I had a list of excuses all prepared, the most persuasive being, “I had a really hard time at work today.” But, it turned out I didn't need them.
              “Sure, I'd love to,” said Leela softly.
               I was so not expecting this that it didn't register and I went right on with, “If you only knew what I've been through...wait, what?”
               She gave her special giggle that was like the tinkle of a tiny bells or the breaking of very thin glass. “You didn't hear me wrong,” she laughed. “I did agree. Just let me double check to make sure I don't need to go into work early tomorrow. I'll call you right back.”
              It turned out that Leela had no conflicts and would be ready in two hours. As I was driving us to Zoraya's, I kept glancing over at her every time we had to stop at an intersection. She looked very lovely in a soft toned dress, a cross between a cocktail dress and sun-dress with a frilled skirt and criss-crossed straps, her hair sprayed and brushed to give it a full, airy, bounce and there was the faintest hint of color on her eyelids and lips. Leela never wears much make-up because her clumsiness makes that kind of precision work difficult. She'll do solid color eye shadow and lipstick sometimes but any attempt at something like eyeliner is guaranteed to make her look like she's been punched in the face. I couldn't help hoping that her good looks tonight were a sign she was over Rob, though with Leela it was hard to tell. She hadn't let herself go even the first week after the break up and, though she had never looked this good since then, this was also the first time we had gone to a place that warranted dressing up on this level.
               It was a fine night, already warm for March. I rolled down the windows and let the wind blow through our hair. Since the trees were still bare there were no leaves to obstruct the view of the sky and almost no clouds either. Against the deep black expanse were tiny silver stars and a big round moon hung low in the sky. “I don't think I've ever seen a moon that big,” I said as I pulled into the parking lot.
               “It must be just past full,” Leela replied and I was struck again by how happy she looked, nervous but happy. According to Morgana, the full moon represented things coming in to being. I normally get annoyed by her superstitions but I couldn't help hoping that, this time anyway, she was right and tonight would be the start of good things for me and, especially, for Leela. But, instead, it seemed likely to be the start of bad things as we had scarcely been at the bar ten minutes when who should I see but Rob? He was looking very smart in a fresh black button down shirt and his hands in the pockets of his well fitted pants. His carriage kept his business casual wear from making him look overly uptight. But he didn’t seem to be trying to be manly either, the way a motorcycle jacket would have made him look. I ground my teeth. He was just too perfect and it had always rubbed me the wrong way, always making me wonder just what the catch was. I elbowed my companion.
               “Leela, let’s get out of here.”
               “But why? We just got here.”
              “Rob’s over there and I highly doubt you would want to talk to him.” She looked over in the direction I pointed, then looked away and shrugged. This was very out of character for Leela but, if she was prepared to stop worrying and have a good time, all the better. I had always been a bit overprotective of Leela in bars as her klutziness always showed. Tonight alone, she had already managed to catch her foot on a chair leg or bump into people and stagger away at least five times. This lack of coordination, frequently led guys to believe she was intoxicated and then try to take advantage of her so I rarely left her side, even to go to the bathroom. But, after a couple hours and more than a couple drinks I couldn’t hold it any longer. “This’ll only take a moment,” I said apologetically as I sprinted for the rest room. I must have been there for less than three minutes but, by the time I got back Rob had already gotten to her.
               The bar was quite crowded by now and panic rose in me as I fought to elbow my way through the crowd. “Just what the hell do you think you are doing?” I hip checked the last person out of my way and rushed up to put my arm around Leela.
              Rob gave me a hard look. “I’m talking to my girlfriend. What does it look like?”
              “You’re girlfriend? She broke up with you weeks ago. Get with it.”
              Rob turned and snarled at me. That’s right, snarled. He bared his teeth and flexed his lips like an angry animal. “Yes she did, but we’re back together now.”
              “Leela, I leave you alone for a couple of minutes…”
              “Well, actually…” Leela looked at her feet uncomfortably. “We’ve been talking on the phone for a while. We just met tonight to work out the details.”
              “You met? This was arranged? And you didn’t tell me?”
              “I knew you wouldn’t approve.”
              “Damn right I don’t approve.”
              “So what?” Rob moved to put his arm protectively around Leela from the other side. “Sometimes it seems to escape you that Leela doesn’t need your ‘approval.’ She’s an adult who can make her own decisions.”
              “Yea, and I was just trying to help her stick with the decision she made.”
              “Our relationship is none of your business. Stay out of it.” I was about to point out that Leela had asked me to be involved when IT happened. As Rob finished speaking to me, I noticed his teeth. One tooth on each side of his mouth appeared to have curved and lengthened, like a snake’s fang or something. What ever it was, it sent chills through me and made me feel sick. It had happened so fast that I caught no more than a split second glimpse. It would have been easy to imagine it. I prayed I had imagined it. In any case, I had no further stomach for the situation and left the love birds to their own devices. But I couldn't put the thing completely out of my head. Within the next twenty-four hours, I had called Morgana and told her I needed to talk to her about something serious at her earliest convenience.
              “No problem. I’ll bring my cards.”
              “I feel filled with confidence now,” I growled sarcastically.
              A couple of hours later, Morgana sat cross-legged on my old black and white checked rug. In front of her was a dish containing the incense cone she had insisted on lighting, the room smelling stale and musky from the smoke. Morgana can best be summed up as the kind of person who spells magic with a k...and will be sure to correct you if she suspects you don't. She has a crescent moon tattooed on her forehead, only wears fair trade cotton, and communes with her pet scorpion, I'm sorry, familiar, on a daily basis. But, in spite of all this, she is a loyal friend and a level headed problem solver, though she will drag her New Age superstition into everything.
              “So,” I prompted, “as I was trying to tell you, we ran into Rob at the bar and he…”
              She held up her hand imperiously. “Wait, let me asses the situation before you muddy the waters with your interpretations.” I fidgeted impatiently as she leisurely unwrapped the silk cloth from around her tarot deck and shuffled the cards. Then she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, sucking in the incense smoke as if it was oxygen from a tank. “Ah.” She sighed out after she had drawn a card. “Look at this.” The card she waved at me showed a huge full moon on a black sky, which took up almost the whole card, while two pale skeletal towers rose on either side of it, the light behind their windows gleaming red. Down at the bottom were two wolves, their fur washed white in the moonlight, with heads thrown back, howling. “This explains everything.”
              “It does?”
              “This is the card of hidden danger,” Morgana declared solemnly, holding it up to me as if I would have trouble seeing it otherwise. “It speaks of the war between human rationalism and animal instinct. The only way to avoid the secret peril is to make sure rationalism triumphs. If you succumb to animal magnetism, you are lost. You must assume control, not be controlled by outside events.”
              “Which means?” I asked impatiently.
              >“It means that Leela should have stuck by her rational decision to leave Rob, rather than letting her emotions lure her back to him,” she replied just as impatiently.
              “Well, I knew that already.”
              “But now we know for a fact that Rob is dangerous and it's not just our paranoia talking.”
              I didn't think this was any more certain than it had been twenty minutes ago, but declined to say so. “Anyway, what does all this have to do with Rob's weird tooth thing?”
              “That, I have no idea about. The cards only tell me about important things, not petty details like people's teeth.”
              “If you had seen what I saw, you might not think it was so unimportant,” I said stiffly. “But what we should do now? We can hardly go trying to break them up. That will just make him madder and if you're right and he is dangerous, and that's that last thing we want.”
              “No, you're right about that, but we need to keep an eye on Leela and make sure nothing bad happens to her.” On the whole, it was an unsatisfactory discussion. No easy solution to what to do about Leela (did I honest think there would be one?) and no answer to my personal question about Rob's dental condition. That was the sort of thing I could only talk about with someone nutty like Morgana, but, in a case of extreme irony, this was apparently not important (weird) enough to warrant her being nutty about.
               Still, as the days passed, I tried to look on the bright side of things. I hadn’t had to cross paths with Rob again, nor was he pressuring Leela to stop being friends with me. He hadn’t apologized or anything but some people are bad about that. More importantly, things seemed good between Rob and Leela. Leela was happy, almost deliriously so, and, though they had been together for nearly a month, she showed no sigh of her strange injuries. Maybe I had been deluding myself and Rob wasn’t really the cause of them after all. She had just told me they were going away to some bed and breakfast out in the country. That sounded very sweet and pretty normal...except that they were going in the middle of the week.
              “You wouldn’t take time off on a Friday to go to a concert with me over the weekend,” I accused.
              Leela looked at me with big sad eyes. “I know and I’m sorry but this is a really important.” I waited and she squirmed. “It’s, you know, the anniversary of us getting back together.”
              “And the exact day is so important that you can’t even wait for the weekend.”
              “You know how I left Rob because I said things were too hectic, there was too much drama? Well, we’re trying to address that problem.”
              “Taking a vacation in the middle of the week seems likely to make things more stressful in the long run.”
              “Just trust me, would you?” My instincts told me I shouldn’t but so what? I couldn’t stop her. Turns out my instincts were correct since Leela came back from her mid-week getaway with the weird marks all over her.
              Again Morgana sat on my carpet with incense. She had come running the second she had gotten my message about Leela's injuries. But this time she did not get out her cards. Instead, Leela sat facing her and she read the marks on Leela’s arm. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, she let out an almost satisfactory snort, went to the window and looked up at the moon. Coming back, she took Leela’s hands and gave her a wise, pitying, look. “It is very simple,” she said. “Your boyfriend is a werewolf.” Oh, dear god, Morgana had gone too far this time. We needed real advice, not mumbo-jumbo.
              “Yes, I know,” Leela said steadily. “How could I avoid knowing that?” She held out her arms.
              “Wait, what?”
              “You heard her.”
              “This is a joke, right?”
              “Do you have sex with him when he changes?” asked Morgana, completely ignoring me.
              She hesitated for a faction of a second and her face went deep red. “You mean when he's in wolf form? No, of course not.”
              “That is not what I mean. Do you do it when he is changing between man and wolf?”
              “No, he wants to, but I'm afraid to be there so we do many times before, until he's worn out. Then, before the final strength surge of the change comes, I quickly go into the next room and lock the door.”
              “Good, keep it that way,” Morgana snapped. “It’s not safe for you to be there.”
              >“What’s the big deal about her being there during the change?” I asked, once Leela had left. “Will he eat her? He doesn’t eat her in wolf form.”
              “No, she’s in no danger,” she replied stiffly. “It is the rest of us who are in danger. Children conceived in human form are human. Children conceived in wolf form are wolves. But children conceived during the change are werewolves.”
              “So tell her to go on birth control.” I couldn’t help sounding rather dismissive. Discussing the practical aspects of a human-werewolf relationship was so utterly ridiculous, I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it.
              “I’m sure she already is but accidents can happen. She could forget to take her pill or something, perhaps because Rob distracts her. Besides, during the transformation, werewolves are at the height of their power. For all we know, they are capable of delayed fertilization, fertilization in ovum, or Goddess knows what else.”
              “Are you saying Rob wants to do this?”
              “Maybe not consciously, but his instinct is pushing for it. His genes want to perpetuate themselves after all.”
              “Why didn’t you tell Leela so she can be on her guard too?”
              “No, and you must not tell her. He’s trying to convince her. If she’s only worried about the safety of others, he will seduce her and she will lay caution aside ‘just once.’ Only terror for her own life can stop her. She needs to think he’s going to eat her. Will you help me?”
              “I don’t even know if I believe you. But I’ve got no love for Rob. If you think it’s best that we cross him, I won’t say no.”
              “Good. Good. I must commune with the spirits and formulate a plan.” She closed her eyes and seemed preparing to withdraw into meditation. I gave her a dig with my foot.
              “Commune with them later. You can’t spend the night on my rug.”
              “I hadn’t planned to.” She stood up with huffy dignity. “The energy is all wrong in your apartment anyway. You’ve got your furniture set up so that it blocks all the ley lines.” Once Morgana was gone, I poured myself a stiff drink and tried hard to convince myself that none of this was happening. Three months passed fairly uneventfully. Each month Leela spent the nights of the full moon secluded with Rob and each time she came back with scratch and bite marks that were caused by Rob in his wolf form, or so she and Morgana claimed. I hadn't seen any more substantial evidence of this and was glad to keep it that way. I told myself repeatedly and, at least partially believed, that Rob was party to some secret, sinister, and kinky sexual practice that left those weird marks and by whose twisted delights he had lured Leela back to him. That theory was not quite as unsettling as werewolves...almost but not quite. The fourth full moon came and went and I expected to hear from Leela soon afterwards since she always tried to make up for her abrupt disappearance with a big burst of sociability afterwards. But, this time, nothing. After a week, I began to get seriously worried and called her.
              “Oh, hi,” she said in her weak, fake cheery voice that always told me at once something was wrong. “I was wondering when you would turn up. I know you probably think I've been neglecting you and I'm really sorry but stuff came up and I was kind of distracted.”
              “I don't care about any of that. I'm just concerned about you. What came up? Where have you been?”
              “This isn't easy to talk about.” And now she sounded like she might cry. “Morgana's already coming over tomorrow, so you may as well come as well. Then I only have to say it once.” I was rather miffed that Morgana had gotten to her first since it made me look like a slacker. But, for the most part, my personal embarrassment was swallowed up in my concern for her. Needless to say, I had a very restless next twenty four hours.
               I arrived at Leela's house as early as I could without being horribly rude and she greeted me with a slice of gooey carrot cake but I saw that her face was white, almost pasty and her eyes looked weary and hollow, as if she had been crying. I was so distressed by this that, at first, I didn't notice what else was wrong. Morgana hadn't arrived yet so we sat waiting on the ratty couch looking uncomfortably at our laps. I picked half-heartedly at my cake, which I couldn't really get into despite the fact that it was delicious. As if in sympathy, Leela began to twist her hands in her lap as well and that's when I saw it.
               Although she was clutching an ice pack to a fresh burn, probably from baking the carrot cake, there was no other mark on her skin, not the slightest sign of a bite of a scratch. I tried not to react but she saw my eyes open and heard my breath catch. Quickly, she turned away to hide her forearms. “We'll talk about it when Morgana arrives,” she whispered. We didn't have long to wait.
               Morgana came bursting in, her skirt swirling around her. “I have read the cards,” she declared imperiously. “You have been betrayed by someone you trusted.” She stabbed a finger at Leela.
               “Well it wasn't me,” I muttered defensively.
               “Not exactly.” Leela shrugged miserably. “Rob didn't betray me, if that's what you're thinking. In fact, he was very nice to me. Nicer than he's ever been before.” Her cheeks flushed. “I got so caught up that I didn't remember what you said about needing to stop.” I saw Morgana bite her lip. “And then I did remember but it was so wonderful I didn't want to, to stop I mean. I thought it would be worth it even if he ate me. Then, he bit my neck, just a tiny gentle bite, and I freaked out.”
               “Did he try to force you?” I cried angrily. “That bastard.”
              “No.” Leela gave me a cold look. “He did not. I know you dislike Rob for some mysterious reason but this is really too much. As soon as he could tell I was uncomfortable, he backed off and never mentioned it again or even tried to touch me. Rob didn't betray me. If anything, it was my own body that did that.”
               “How do you mean?”
               “The thought that my feelings could get me in a state where I lost all sense of self preservation was terrifying to me. And I didn't want to be around Rob for fear it would happen again. I told him I needed some time alone to calm down but, when I left, I locked the door behind me and didn't come back until the next morning.” Hence no marks.
              “So, now what? Are you guys broken up again?” I asked, trying not to sound as hopeful as I felt.
               “Oh no, but things aren't good. He thinks I blame him and I can't make him understand that's not the case. It doesn't help that I can't, or rather won't, fully explain the situation to him.” She stared miserably down at her unmarked hands and was silent for so long that, finally, Morgana shook her gently by the shoulder. “I don't want him to know about my fears. I'm not only afraid of hurting him by saying I worry he'll eat me but, worse, I'm afraid he'll admit it's true.” She covered her face with her hands.
               Rob had been mostly leaving Leela in peace to let her deal with her feelings though they had made plans for a casual lunch. He actually seemed to be treating her pretty well, considering he was a werewolf...or whatever. I comforted Leela, telling her she hadn't done anything wrong and not to worry since Rob didn't seem upset. Surely they could manage to patch things up. Morgana followed my example, patting Leela perfunctorily on the hand--Morgana's not good with the mushy stuff--but, inside, I could tell she was fuming with impatience. Leela cracked a wide smile at our attentions and seemed to feel a little bit better but very drained from her emotional disclosure. So, we said good-night to her, promising to call her right away after the lunch to find out how it went.
              “This is not good,” Morgana mutter as soon as we were out of earshot of Leela's front door. “Not good at all.” I rolled my eyes. “Look, she's already starting to slide. He almost had her this time and, next time, he'll be more careful.
              “Come on now, Leela's so unhappy and all you can think about is your superstition shit.”
              “Leela, and lots of other people, will be far more unhappy when she starts giving birth to werewolves.” If Leela was as gaga over Rob as she seemed to be, she might not mind it so much.
               “Fine, I see there's no reasoning with you. What, in your infinite wisdom, do you propose we do?”
               “We have to find away to keep them away from each other during the nights of the full moon. No matter how terrified Leela is right now, sooner or later, he will seduce her and her resistance will slip.
              “So, what's the plan?” I asked, not sure I liked where this was going.
              “Let's tell her we want to...oh, have a girl's night in or something. We've done that before. And it can just happen to fall during the full moon.”
              “And that won't look suspicious at all,” I said sarcastically. “Besides, what about next month? We can't keep using the same excuse every time.”
              “Never mind about that right now.” Morgana pressed her hands to her forehead as if her head hurt. “Hopefully we can think of something by then. Let's just worry about this month for now.”
               But the situation still creeped me out and that made me pissy so I couldn't help taking another dig at her. “What if they get married? How are you possibly going to keep track of them then?”
               “Obviously I'm not. We have to just hope that doesn't happen. Can we please focus on the present.” I agreed to Morgana's idea. What else could I do? There would be no peace if I opposed her and Leela was so distressed that something needed to be done. But, if I was prepared to go along quietly, Rob most certainly was not. His lunch with Leela had gone fairly well. She had let him hold her and they had sniffled into each other's shoulders. The decision was to keep seeing each other and, latter in the week, they went to a movie, sat close and made out in the dark. But they would hold off from meeting in private and doing anything more intimate for a time. Then, Leela told him about our plans and he viewed it as an excuse for her to get away from him during the full moon.
               “Look, if you're not comfortable about being with me, just say so,” he accused coldly when she told him, according to Leela's account of the conversation.
               “But I'm not,” Leela protested, close to tears. “I promise I'll give you all my time, I'll spend the night with you, when this is over.” But she said he just looked at her impassively, obviously not believing a word of it. “But you can't ask me to not spend time with my friends.”
              “In general no, but at this particular time, yes. I thought you said you'd be there to support me.” Leela had weakly protested that she thought they were supposed to be taking some space right now. Maybe she wasn't ready to be sequestered with him, especially at such a crucial time. Besides, if Rob expected her to always be on call during the full moon, he should have said so, instead of just assuming. She said he hadn't had a good counter to this and, instead, had fallen back on implying she was deceiving him and didn't really love him. Although Morgana and I both assured Leela she was in the right, it was clear as she continued to cry that she felt bad for Rob and was filled with guilt over deserting him. She was still coming with us but only because she would have felt just as guilty about letting us down and, also, because she was still terrified of Rob. After I got off the phone with her, I went to check my calendar. Only three days left till the full moon. Good. Not very much time left for him to try and change her mind.
              The night before the full moon, I went out to pick up some snacks, for the next night or so. I still didn't believe the whole werewolf thing but this example of poor behavior on Rob's part firmly established him as a first rate asshole and I was glad he was feeling snubbed after listening to Leela sob on the phone. Since then, Rob hadn't been able to change her mind and, as far as I could tell, he hadn't tried to, though Leela had almost done it for him a few times. Thank god it would be over soon. Then, as I was setting down my bag of groceries, to open the car door, I looked up at the sky. The moon was almost perfectly round, but slightly deformed on one side as it hung in the black sky. It wasn't pure white but a yellowish off white, like old bones I thought with a shiver. The sky was clear, without stars, which had all been washed out by the corpse moon, but I could see a dark smear of clouds in the distance and the air was thick and heavy. There would be a hard storm very soon.
              Now a wind sighed, rattling the trees and whispering over the concrete. My heart thudded like the approaching thunder. Suddenly, it seemed much easier to believe in werewolves. I could almost imagine dark shapes lurking in the rustling bushes, peering out at me, with teeth the color of the moon. A dog howled in someone's yard a few blocks away and I almost tripped over my own feet, rushing to get into the car. My head still thought Morgana's theory was preposterous but, at that moment, in my heart, I believed it.
              The next night Morgana kept Leela distracted as I went around closing all the doors and windows, a very uncomfortable necessity. The storm had not broken today and the weight of the humidity pressed down on us, making breath already shortened by fear even more difficult to draw in. I really wished we could have used Morgana’s apartment, which wasn’t on the ground floor and, therefore, safer. But Morgana had a roommate and said roommate’s lover just happened to be visiting at the exact time of the full moon.
              “Can’t you ask her to have him over some other time?”
              “What am I supposed to say? You have to have the guy come later even though he already bought his Gray Hound ticket because I need to protect my friend from a werewolf?”
              “You have a good point, though I didn’t think that would bother you.”
              “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks of me, but I have to live with her. Besides, I know it wouldn’t do any good.” We turned on the TV and sat watching Saturday Night Live re-runs with the blinds down, trying to ignore the rapid fading of the light. During one of the commercial breaks, Morgana got up and went to the windows, peering through the slats.
              “The moon has risen,” she said in a cold voice. I didn’t want to look but I made an involuntary glance for less than a second before I pulled my eyes away. Unfortunately I still saw the pavement outside, washed almost white in the light of the full moon.
              “The show's back on,” I said tensely. “Close the window. There's nothing to see.” Based on the brightness and the angle of the light, the moon was already high in the sky. But I didn't dare voice my hope that this meant Rob wouldn't find us in time, or that he hadn't bothered looking in the first place. We were right in the middle of a skit satirizing the 2004 presidential debate when it happened. The gate to the apartment complex slammed with a metallic clang that made all our hearts jump into our mouths, at least I knew mine did. There was a moment of silence. Then, we all let our breath out in a loud sigh. Almost, we could believe that the gate had only clanged in the wind, until we heard a scrabbling and scratching on the brickwork outside.
              Leela looked like she was going to be sick. Morgana gripped her arm so tightly that white marks appeared around her fingers. “Remember, he can't know which apartment we're in if you don't draw attention to us,” she hissed.
              “So, how'd he find my building in the first place?” I asked grimly.
              “Maybe he he looked it up in the phone book, or in her cell phone. Who cares?”
              “So, I think her cell phone has my apartment number in it.”
              “Or, maybe, he can just smell me,” said Leela in a very small voice. Morgana and I looked at each other, our facial muscles stiff.
              “But he couldn't do that,” I objected. “Not through solid brick...work...” My voice trailed off as I saw Morgana's face had gone as white as the moonlit pavement. To make matters worse, the scrabbling sound came closer, passing directly under one of my windows. Then there was a pause, followed by a long, shuddering howl. I had never heard a real wolf howl, let alone a werewolf. It was like the wind whipping through the hollows of bare rocks, the sea pounding on the shore, or a pane of glass shattering under intense strain. It was everything that was raw and primal and I was terrified but that wasn't all. I felt my stomach muscles constrict and then I understood. I was excited by the wild call, sexually excited, I mean. My body was craving some small taste of the werewolf's freedom and power. It was actually painful to restrain myself from responding to what the cry promised. Glancing at Leela, I saw she was in a far worse state. Sweet, gentle, shy, awkward, Leela was now on fire with lust. I could see the breath move in her throat and it was so rapid she was almost panting. Beads of sweat began to appear on her skin. Another cry ripped through the air and Leela sat bolt upright, every muscle tense.
              “Help her,” cried Morgana, flinging herself in front of the window to block it. I wound my arms around Leela and held her against me. She didn't fight or struggle as I had feared she would. Slowly and gently, but very firmly, she pushed against the hold. She seemed stronger than normal and I was hard put to hold her. Fortunately, Morgana came to my aid and also had the presence of mind to stuff a pillow in Leela's face to muffle any cries she might make. With every call of the beast outside, she pressed harder against us and I could feel the very blood pulse beneath her skin. This harrowing experience continued until shortly before sunrise. We were all exhausted far beyond what a normal sleepless night would cause so we staggered off to go to sleep as soon as the sun rose but ended up spending the next several hours tossing and turning, horrified by the knowledge that we had at least one more night of the full moon left to go. At least as bad was the fact that the heat had increased since the previous day. Even in the morning sun, we could already see moisture stating to steam up from the ground and a haze was veiling the sky. We had opened the windows as soon as it was light enough to be safe to do so, but it had helped absolutely none.
              We lay pickling in our own sweat and taking fitful naps until we gave up around eleven and shuffled out for lunch at the waffle house on the corner. The air conditioning was delightful and I found renewed strength as I devoured a huge plate of waffles with gooey syrup. I noticed Leela only picked at her food, which was disconcerting but not enough to put me off mine. But the contented feeling didn't last long. Before we had gone half the distance back to the apartment, short as it was, we were dripping with sweat again and my lunch began to lie very heavy in my stomach. The morning haze had darkened into black clouds but the storm still showed absolutely no sign of breaking and the dark roof looked almost solid. We stopped to rest against a tree in the apartment courtyard. The bark was cool to the touch and we fanned ourselves as best we could with bunches of leaves. I knew for a fact that it would be even hotter inside the house. Then, suddenly, Leela stumbled in a depression in the ground.
               “What was that? Am I going to have them call the mole exterminator again?” I asked with a scowl.
               “I don't think so,” said Leela in a small voice. We came to see what she was looking at and there, in the soft mud under one of the roots, partially buried in the leaf litter, was a canine paw print...at least the size of my hand. My stomach knotted up and I felt I was about to lose my lunch. I didn't even bother suggesting it might have been someone's great Dane.
              “At least we know what we're up against now,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.
              “No, tonight will be far worse,” said Morgana grimly. Sure enough, as soon as it was fully dark but well before moon rise, Rob was at the door. He began by politely knocking but (as we pretended no one was home) that didn't last long at all. Soon, he started pounding and kicking the door as hard as he could. If he kept this up for very long, I'd have to have my door repainted for sure. But this soon stopped as well.
              “All right, you bitches,” he yelled through the keyhole. “I'm really getting sick of you. You have no right to keep Leela away from me.” His aggression was even more terrifying since Rob was normally so calm. I recognized that tone from the night in the bar and shuddered to think how his teeth must be lengthening and sharpening even as he spoke.
               “Well, Leela's our friend too,” I shot back, fear lending sharpness to my anger. “You have no right to keep her away from us. We're just trying to have a private girls' night in, which you were informed of, in advance, I might add. Stop being so damn possessive.”
              >“I’ll break down your door, by god, I will.” He gave it an even harder kick and I winced at the sound. Not only was I sure he had gouged a huge piece out of it, but I was also terrified that my neighbors would hear and I’d get reported for being involved in a disturbance of the peace.
              “There’s really no need for that,” said Morgana coldly. “I’ve hung aconite--wolfsbane--around the door frame so you can’t pass through.”
              The pounding stopped immediately but the welcome silence did not last long. Soon, Rob began moaning, almost sobbing. “Please, my beautiful Leela, take pity on me,” he cried. “Don’t abandon me and leave me shut out from you.” The wildness was as audible in his pain as it had been in his anger. “Leela, come back to me, Leela.”
              “Oh, god, he sounds like the guy in Street Car Named Desire,” I muttered, “yelling ‘Stella! Stella!’”
              “And Stella answered,” said Morgana grimly. Immediately, her eyes flew to Leela, who was still sitting on the floor in corner. But her hands were working in her lap, curling and uncurling, almost like claws, and the skin of her neck was pulled so tight in the strain that the veins under it could be clearly seen. Morgana went over to her and began to whisper something in her ear. I couldn’t catch the words but I guessed it was some sort of charm. It certainly seemed to have some type of hypnotic effect because, after a moment, Leela’s eyes became glassy and she slumped over against the wall. Seeming to sense her inability to respond, Rob gave up and slunk away. “He’ll be back,” said Morgana without emotion. Leaving Leela where she was, the two of us broke open a pack of cards and played round after round of black jack. Morgana smoked a clove cigarette, a sign of extreme agitation about which I was none too pleased since the pungent odor seemed even more overpowering in the close, heavy air. Eventually, it felt as if we were breathing soup, as the number on the clock ticked slowly towards one am and moon rise.
               Suddenly, there came a livid flare of lightning. The sky cracked with a sound like a board breaking, startling Leela out of her daze. She snapped upright and her eyes were clear. And, with that crack, the flood gates were opened and the rain poured down like a curtain. The thunder, the rushing wind, and the pounding rain brought with them a fourth sound, a raw howl of agony, the voice of a wolf in a human throat. Leela gave a cry of suffering and staggered to her feet.
              “Leela, sit down,” said Morgana sternly, not looking up from the cards even though no one was paying attention to the game now.
              “I don’t care what you say,” said Leela fiercely. “We can’t just leave Rob in a storm like this.”
              “Leela be strong,” said Morgana through her teeth. Leela paused, turning back towards us, but then there came another rip of thunder and another wild cry.
               “He came for me. It’s my fault he’s out there. I can’t leave him,” Leela shrieked, springing forward again. Before Morgana or I could reach her, she had thrown the door open and herself into Rob’s arms. Amazingly, he was still dry, having stayed close under the overhang of the roof. I glanced questioningly across at Morgana and she shrugged.
               “Can't very well pull them apart,” she muttered and, indeed, they pressed their mouths and bodies together as if they were one. Soon, I had almost forgotten my fear in my fascination at their passion. They were completely oblivious to our presence as they kissed and kissed in a way that put the steamiest movie make-out scenes I'd ever witnesses to shame. They fell to the ground, rolled into the wet grass, and, at once, they were soaked to the skin as the rain pelted down on them. Their waterlogged clothes glistened in the light streaming from the open door. Pallid white wet hands snaked through hair, sodden and plastered until it looked like fur. And then they began to undress each other. Heavy slick garments came peeling off like snake skin. At that moment, the clouds parted in ragged gray bands and, though them, we could see the full moon. The light washed over their bodies as they lay locked together and Rob's skin was no longer white. The dark hair on his head came running down his back and then over his arms and legs. The ears and muzzle erupted from his face, forcing back Leela's head in mid kiss, and the tail came extending out from his spine as he mounted her.
               Morgana jerked me back into the room, startling me out of my prurient gawking. “Let it be,” she said, making a gesture against evil. “We've done all we can. There is nothing more.”
               “Rob's not so bad...for a werewolf,” I pointed out weakly.
               “Only pray their children will be no worse,” she replied with a shake of her head.

 

  ©Amanda RR Hamlin 2017